


A Pokephile's Guide To Breeding

by LPSunnyBunny



Category: Homestuck, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Assisted Breeding, Ball of Stridercest, Bestiality, Breeding, Human/Pokemon Relationship(s), Inappropriate Use of Dittos, Incest, Living Cocksleeves, M/M, Other, Pokemon AU, Pokemon Fucking, Pokephilia, Sibling Incest, Trans Dirk Strider, Twincest, Unrealistic Sex, feral on human, hal and dirk are twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny
Summary: Have you ever wanted to dabble in Pokemon breeding, but didn't know where to start? No fear, Bro Strider has you covered.A Pokephile's Guide To Breedingtells you how to breed with any Pokemon you wish!You're in expert hands with him and his three younger brothers, who have tackled numerous Pokemon, from the common Bidoof all the way to the elusive Hatterne!
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dave Strider, Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dirk Strider, Dave Strider/Dirk Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider/Dave Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider/Dirk Strider, Misc Pokemon/Auto-Responder | Lil Hal, Misc Pokemon/Dave Strider, Misc Pokemon/Dirk Strider
Comments: 30
Kudos: 108





	1. Introduction: Your Ditto and You

So, you want to know about Pokemon breeding.

You’re not alone. Pokemon breeding is a beautiful, lovely thing. Seeing wild creatures mating and having sex- there’s nothing like it, a force of powerful instinct that moves men and creatures alike.

But if you’re picking this book up, maybe you want to be a bit more hands on. Maybe your favorite partner isn’t breeding properly, maybe you’re curious.

Don’t matter much.

If you’re going to be breeding Pokemon yourself, the first thing you need to do is get yourself a ditto from a _reputable breeder._ Wild dittos, while intelligent creatures, just aren’t prepared for being a breeding partner in the way that you’ll need it to be.

You see, for a more hands on experience, you’re going to need a ditto intimately familiar with both humans and Pokemon. Your ditto will exist at your side, will live on your body, and yes, inside you.

This is the reality of hands-on breeding. Dittos are miraculous creatures that can breed with anything- they have the unique ability to take any kind of Pokemon and come back for more. They’re lustful creatures that need direction and assistance to hit the mark.

Your ditto will reinforce your body, allow you to assist in Pokemon breeding while greatly reducing the danger to your form. Keep this in mind when looking at the entries in this guide:

** These entries are made under the premise that you have properly bonded to and adapted with your ditto. Although you can enjoy the experience of Pokebreeding without a ditto, be sure to add one to every danger ranking in each entry if you do not have one. **

Even when following proper breeding instructions, things can still go wrong. Pokemon can spook or an accident can happen. 

** Never breed a Pokemon that you do not have full control over. **

This guide does not take responsibility for any damage or injury caused by Pokebreeding.

Please breed responsibly.


	2. Entry #262: Mightyena

**Pokemon Name** : Mightyena

 **Entry Number:** #262

 **Difficulty Rating:** 2 - Preparations needed

 **Note:** Mightyenas, while friendly, have claws that need trimming or securing. Muzzles recommended for feisty ones.

 **Wild Rating:** 3 - Difficult

 **Note:** Wild Mightyenas move in packs and it is difficult to get one on it’s own for safe breeding.

 **Pokemon Typing:** Dark

 **Egg Group:** Field

 **Breeding Style:** Allogamy Hemotrophic Viviparity

 **Average Clutch:** 2-4 Eggs.

 **Breeding Method:** Mightyenas breed in a standard canine quadruped method. The male will mount the female and thrust vigorously until the knot on his penis swells, locking him in place while he shoots his sperm into the female. This tie can last between five and thirty minutes. 

**Notes on Breeding Method:** Biting of the female’s scruff is common. The longer the tie, the more fertile the male. Unless bred with other species in egg group, birth will be live.

Bro looks up from his notes at Dave’s moan, low and weak. He shuts his notebook and tucks it into his pocket, strolling over.

Dave’s eyes flutter open as Bro approaches, a blissed-out expression on his face. He’s face-down, ass-up on a mat as the Mightyena above him pants, the two of them locked together for the past ten minutes.

Bro squats down next to Dave, giving the Mightyena a pat as it yips.

“Hey, Dave, doing okay?” He asks. Dave’s Ditto, Tupac, is shifting around Dave’s hips, drinking up the Mightyena’s cum as it continues to pump it into Dave. Dave nods. “Good. Shift your thighs a bit and arch your ass up more, the deeper you can get it’s knot, the better you’ll get bred.”

Bro smooths a lock of hair behind Dave’s ear as Dave shifts. Always so obedient, obeying his older brother so perfectly. The smooth curve of his back is so long and pretty, perfectly bouncy ass encased in the rippling jello-like texture of Tupac as it wraps around Dave’s hips, squeezes around his flushed dick. Bro knows it’s doing it’s job, doing what it does best- working as a barrier between Dave and the Mightyena, majority of it’s body pressed into Dave’s guts, drinking up and breeding with the Mightyena cum being pumped into Dave.

“That’s my good boy.” Bro says and Dave preens at the attention. “You think his knot’s going down yet?”

Dave focuses, expression going far-off and hazy, and Bro knows that he’s squeezing down, testing it, and then he nods a little. “Starting to.” He confirms.

“Good. You ready for the next one?” Bro asks and Dave nods, biting his lip. Bro grins a little, proud. That’s his Dave, always ready for whatever Bro throws at him. Bro gives the Mightyena another pat and rises to his feet, adjusting his cock in his pants. He’ll fuck Dave later, right now this is for the guide. He goes over to the door of the room and pokes his head out to where his other boys, Hal and Dirk, are waiting.

They look up as Bro comes out. “Next one?” Hal asks and Bro nods. Hal rises to his feet, taking the leash of one of the other Mightyenas out there. He follows Bro into the room in time to see the first one pull free of Dave with a slick _squelch,_ knot popping free as Dave moans. It retreats, backing up a couple of steps to plop down and raise one leg to clean itself.

At this angle, Bro can see Dave’s hole, coated in the pink of his Ditto and gaping, his belly bulging slightly underneath him from the weight of his Ditto in his gut.

“Right.” Bro takes the leash from Hal and leads the new Mightyena over. It’s interested- it’s moving smoothly, tail wagging slightly, sniffing the air- and Bro barely has to take the collar off before it’s sniffing at Dave and rearing up, cock sliding out of it’s sheath as it mounts him.

Dave wiggles slightly as the Mightyena thrusts, its cock rubbing against his ass, catching on his rim, but not quite making it in- so Dave reaches back and gives it a little bit of encouragement-

Dave stutters out a moan as the Mightyena slides home. His head drops again, hips tilting up into the penetration as it’s paws find the leather padding on his sides and _yank_ , starting up the forceful humping commonplace to canine types. His moans go stuttering and fucked-out, mouth hanging open as his hole is mercilessly fucked into.

That’s something Bro loves about the more animalistic Pokemon. They don’t care about their bitch’s pleasure, only focused on breeding them good, irregardless of what their bitch wants.

It’s the perfect pairing for Dave, who loves submitting, loves just being a hole to be used, loves getting fucked and bred up deep. Dave adores getting humped and knotted and treated so meanly by Pokemon because it means when Bro takes him in hand afterwards and makes him cum it’ll be all that much sweeter.

A warbling moan slides from Dave’s throat as the Mightyena circles it’s hips, trying to work it’s knot into him. There’s a moment of fierce, rough humping, then Dave gasps, his eyes rolling back and fluttering shut and Bro knows they’ve tied again.

Dave looks so fucking blissful underneath the Mightyena that Bro wants to pull out his dick and start stroking-

Well, Hal’s still here, gaze fixed on Dave with that passive, calm expression. Other Mightyena curled at his feet.

“Hey Lil’ Hal.” Bro says, undoing his belt. Hal, like the good boy he is, understands immediately and drops to his knees, opening his mouth obediently.

“Good boy.” Bro says, and sinks his cock into Hal’s warm, wet mouth to fuck his face while he watches Dave moan through his knotting.

**Closing Word:** For best results, ensure the female is bred with multiple different Mightyenas.


	3. Entry #563: Cofagrigus

**Pokemon Name** : Cofagrigus

 **Entry Number:** #563

 **Difficulty Rating:** 3 - Potentially Dangerous

 **Note:** Recommended supervision for first breeding to ensure safety and correct temperament. Cofagrigus may accidentally suffocate breeding subject or refuse to release.

 **Wild Rating:** 4 - Dangerous

 **Note:** There is no guarantee a wild Cofagrigus will let any breeding subject go. Not recommended to breed with wild ones.

 **Pokemon Typing:** Ghost

 **Egg Group:** Mineral, Amorphous

 **Breeding Style:** Autogamy Ovo-viviparity

 **Average Clutch:** 1 Egg

 **Breeding Method:** Cofagrigus is a Pokemon that inseminates a host for reproduction. No known incidents of Cofagrigus breeding with each other have been observed. Cofagrigus will open up and pull their host into their coffin and keep them there between one to three hours as they are bred. Cofagrigus produce two breeding tendrils that they alternate breeding their host with to inseminate them before containing them for some time to ensure that the breeding is successful.

** Notes on Breeding Method:  **

Cofagrigus only produce one egg per clutch and only produce eggs. Cofagrigus will not breed with anything that is not warm blooded, and seem to have a preference for humanoid partners. A reluctant Cofagrigus can be enticed to breed with honey.

“Ready?” A hand settles on Hal’s shoulder and he glances up to Bro.

“Ready.” Hal confirms, undoing his robe and handing it off to Dirk, standing next to him. He holds his wrists out to Bro, who lightly dabs a slick of honey there. Hal brings his wrists up to his neck and rubs a little, like it’s perfume, then steps forwards.

The Cofagrigus watches him with burning red eyes as Hal steps forwards, it’s hinges creaking menacingly.

Hal outstretches his wrists to it, and black tendrils shoot out, hovering for a moment before wrapping around where the honey was dabbed. Tasting.

The body of the Cofagrigus swings open and a number of tendrils outstretch, grabbing Hal, flipping him around, pulling him into it’s body backwards, manipulating his arms to cross over his chest as it yanks him.

His last sight before it slams shut is the sight of Bro watching calmly, notebook in hand, with Dirk standing by his side, Hal’s robe folded over his arm.

Then the Cofagrigus slams shut and Hal is plunged into darkness. Tendrils drag over his body, over his crossed arms, down his legs, stoking the fire in his belly, his cock starting to get hard.

The tendrils slip over him until the find his ass and he does his best to shift, to spread his legs in the space he’s trapped in.

A thin, slick tendril starts wiggling it’s way in between his cheeks and Hal lets his head drop back on a groan. It feels good, slowly pressing him open, pressing into his guts. His Ditto, Seb, stirs in response, and there’s the familiar sensation of it slowly pulling itself down through his guts to meet the Cofagrigus’ probing tendril.

Hal knows that his Ditto is a snuggler, always wanting to be close, always wanting to stay inside Hal, and since Hal’s never had any kind of issue with it he’s content to let his Ditto stay inside.

But now Seb is squirming partially out of Hal, and it’s a slick, heavy pressure in his gut, spreading his hole from the inside out and Hal will never not moan at the feeling of it, at his beloved Ditto expanding his ass so smoothly, so easily.

The Cofagrigus doesn’t seem to care about Seb’s movements or the way it has emerged to encase Hal’s ass, it’s tendrils continue to stroke over Hal’s body, leaving goosebumps in their wake, as the one inside him squirms deeper.

It’s so strange, having something get shoved up into your guts past the place where you can feel it. There’s a heavy, weighty sensation in his belly and a pleasurable ache in his ass as Cofagrigus’ tendril wiggles and pulses. He lets his head loll back- he’s held in an almost strange suspension, not resting on anything at all. It’s a peculiar, floaty sensation that has him relaxing, almost like he’s in water, but with no water to drown him.

He keeps his arms loose and folded over his chest as the tendril inside him starts rocking and wiggling, pulling a low moan from his throat. This is what he loves about the Pokemon who breed in strange methods- there’s always some fucking kink of his that gets hit, and getting his ass fucked open by tentacles is _definitely_ one of them.

So he moans again as it begins to pulse and rock inside him, working up it’s seed to dump into his guts, into Seb, who will take it and form the egg. It’s a heady, rocking pleasure, and he knows it will last for a _while_ which- it’s honestly the best part. Getting to not think and just _feel_ as he’s used to continue the cycle of life.

**Closing Word:** Be sure to hydrate breeding subject beforehand. Cofagrigus has an elongated breeding cycle, so exhaustion is common.


	4. Entry #073: Tentacruel

**Pokemon Name** : Tentacruel

 **Entry Number:** #073

 **Difficulty Rating:** 2 - Preparations needed

 **Note:** As a poison Pokemon, it is easy for Tentacruels to accidentally poison their partners. Keep antidotes on hand.

 **Wild Rating:** 4 - Extremely Dangerous, not recommended

 **Note:** Tentacruel have been known to drag breeding partners underwater and drown them. It is not recommended to breed with them in the wild.

 **Pokemon Typing:** Water Poison

 **Egg Group:** Water 3

 **Breeding Style:** Allogamy Oviparity

 **Average Clutch:** 5-10 Eggs

 **Breeding Method:** Tentacruels have multiple breeding tendrils. They will penetrate the female, applying a watered down version of their poison to paralyze their mate. They will vigorously thrust their tendrils inside any orifice that is presented to them until each tendril releases it’s seed. The eggs will then be laid by the mate and will stay there until they hatch.

 **Notes on Breeding Method:** It has been observed that each breeding tendril has a different genetic makeup to it’s sperm. It is unknown why this is the case. When laying the eggs, it can be salt or freshwater environment, but do not separate them and make sure they are not exposed to excessive sunlight.

Dirk groans as the tentacle slides free, a slopping rush of cum pouring out of his cunt. The one in his ass doesn’t pause in it’s thrusting, pulsing deep, churning into Dirk’s insides, in and out, thick and heavy.

The Tentacruel’s paralytic is doing it’s job- Dirk very much cannot move from the waist down and his arms are responding sluggishly.

Not that it matters overly much, with his shoulders pressing into the mat, his hips suspended and held up by a set of tentacles wrapping around his thighs.

He can see the faint twisting in his belly as the tentacle plunges into him, but there’s no pain- Timaeus is doing it’s job, keeping him put together.

A moan slides from his mouth as another tentacle plunges into his cunt, doing its best to wriggle in as deep as it back before it starts thrusting, in and out, thick and slippery, battering against his cervix like it wants to shove inside.

It probably does, actually. The thought of it curling into his womb, pumping it full of its cum makes him clench, a weak, shuddering orgasm sweeping through him.

God. Dirk wants to rock his hips, grind them them into the tentacles, reach for his dick and stroke it- but he’s completely helpless, paralyzed by the Tentacruel, at it’s mercy.

“Fuck.” He groans, a fucked out noise as his cervix is battered, his ass is fucked open. He loves the hentai shit, really, but fuck he wants to touch, wants to jerk off till he cums properly instead of this weak shit.

“Dave.” Dirk tilts his head, seeking his younger brother. Dave looks up from his phone, cross legged and sitting a ways away.

“Yeah?” He asks.

“Wanna fucking cum.” Dirk can feel his words slurring. “Help me out.” The loss of control is _embarrassing_ and it makes Dirk’s face heat up, but Dave never teases him for it like Hal does, never rubs it in his face to make him squirm like Bro.

Dave hums a little, tapping his phone into his hand before grinning. “Yeah? Need a working hand?” He tucks his phone away and strolls over.

“It’s fucking good, but-” Dirk moans, shoulders pressing as he tries to arch. The tentacle in his ass is pulsing, pumping cum into him. It’s so fucking hot, it’s getting him so _fucking_ hot, but he can’t cum, not properly. “Can’t- can’t touch.”

Dave squats down next to Dirk with a grin. “Yeah, you look a little _stuck_ , dude.” He snorts, reaching out and thumbing over one of Dirk’s nipples. They don’t really have any sensation, after his surgery, so Dave doesn’t linger.

Daves fingers find his dick and he grinds the heel of his hand into it and that’s it, that’s all it takes, Dirk seizes and trembles as his orgasm _rocks_ through him, eyes rolling back, legs shaking and thrashing as the tide of pleasure crashes down, his cock aching and throbbing under Dave’s touch. His holes clamp down around the tentacles and it feels _good_ he’s so fucking stuffed full.

“Damn, quickshot!" Dave laughs, rubbing Dirk’s cock lightly, each pass making him twitch and moan, helpless little noises, a jolt of pleasure rocking to his core with each little circle. “Want another?” He asks.

“ _Yes._ ” Dirk moans, panting, and jerks as Dave starts pressing harder again.

He has the best little brother in the fucking _world._

**Closing Word:** Tentacruels will penetrate any hole they can find, sometimes putting multiple tentacles into one. Be sure to prep and stretch the breeding subject thoroughly beforehand.


	5. Entry #282: Gardevoir

**Pokemon Name** : Gardevoir

 **Entry Number:** #282

 **Difficulty Rating:** 1 - No preparations needed

 **Note:** Gardevoir, while having no special preparations needed, are highly intelligent and can be temperamental.

 **Wild Rating:** 1 - No preparations needed

 **Note:** Wild Gardevoir are relatively easy to breed, but take all standard precautions with wild Pokemon.

 **Pokemon Typing:** Psychic Fairy

 **Egg Group:** Amorphous, Human-Like

 **Breeding Style:** Allogamy Hemotrophic Viviparity

 **Average Clutch:** 1-2 Eggs

 **Breeding Method:** Gardevoir breed in standard humanoid manner. The male inserts his penis into the female’s vagina and thrusts until he reaches climax.

 **Notes on Breeding Method:** Gardevior give live birth unless mated with a non-Gardevoir.

Dave flushes as the Gardevoir runs its hands over his body, its expression vaguely curious but mostly hungry. Laid out on his back with the creature kneeling between his legs, he feels so strangely vulnerable.

Mating with humanoid Pokemon always does this, though. There’s always that edge of close-but-not-quite that makes it even hotter.

He spreads his thighs a little wider, a low moan in his throat as the Gardevoir presses a hand into his mouth, feeling his tongue and making his face flush.

Dave wishes it would just _get on with it_ , but no, he had to get the most curious Gardevoir in existence, who wants to explore every inch of him. The touches leave his skin tingling, the gaze of the Pokemon pinning him down like a butterfly to a cork board. Vivid red eyes, intelligent and yet-

It takes his legs, shoving them up and open, pinning him to the bed with his knees next to his ears, and Dave chokes at the embarrassing position. His ass completely on display, he wraps his hands around his thighs and holds himself open, trembling through the humiliating burn of it, Tupac shifting over his skin a familiar, comforting presence.

“You look like a bitch right now.” Hal comments and Dave jolts at his brother’s voice.

“Thanks.” Dave says weakly, but his face is getting hotter, squirming humiliation starting to take root in his belly. The Gardevoir lets go of his legs and shifts and its parting its skirt, its cock engorged and fully erect.

Gardevoir cocks are a little bit smaller than the average human due to their size, but it sure as fuck doesn’t feel like it as the Gardevoir presses close and shoves home. Dave moans as its length slides into him, his head dropping back.

“Seriously.” Hal continues as the Gardevoir takes a minute to shift and settle. “Getting fucked by a Pokemon with a skirt?”

Dave squirms, biting his lip. “Hal,” he whines, his stomach feeling hot. “Come on, dude, don’t-”

It’s a show, of course. Hal knows how much Dave likes being humiliated and Dave knows that Hal knows, who knows that Dave knows and so on.

“You’re a bitch, Dave.” Hal says and Dave squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to look at his older brother’s smug face. “Should’ve put _you_ in a skirt, too.”

Gardevoir decides that apparently its waited long enough and starts driving its hips into Dave, light, shallow thrusts that barely graze over Dave’s prostate, making him squirm.

“F-fuuck, hah-” He moans, trying to tilt his hips, get the Gardevoir to fuck against that sensitive spot properly. “G _od-_ ”

“So noisy, too.” Hal muses. “Really, for the sake of all our ears we should just gag you.”

Dave shudders at the idea, cracking his eyes open to look over at his older brother, who is lounging in a chair, slowly jerking himself off, red eyes amused as he watches Dave.

Being watched just makes Dave burn all that hotter, so he just grips his thighs and bites his lip as the Gardevoir fucks away, hips slapping against Dave’s, skirt brushing and sliding over Dave’s skin, leaving little tingles in its wake.

“Go ahead and jerk off, Dave.” Hal drawls. “You’re thinking about it anyway.”

Dave groans, low in his throat, and grabs his dick, encased in Tupac’s jelly, and starts stroking himself furiously as the Gardevoir picks up its pace, fucking right across his prostate, sending pleasurable jolts up his spine with each thrust.

When he cums with a faltering, embarrassed moan, it’s under the dual, burning red gazes of his amused older brother and the Pokemon breeding him.

**Closing Word:** Pregnant Gardevoir are extremely territorial of their mates. Do not separate an expecting pair.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy my writing, check me out on twitter at [@LPSunnyBunny](http://www.twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!
> 
> Feel free to comment what Pokemon I should do next, I'm always taking requests.


End file.
